"I steer her hastily into the kitchen, away from the pile of take-away menus on the hall table. Then I wish I hadn't. On the kitchen counter is a stack of old tins and packets, together with a note from my new cleaner, all in capitals:
DEAR SAMANTHA
1. ALL YOUR FOOD IS PAST ITS SELL-BY DATES. SHOULD I THROW AWAY?
2. DO YOU HAVE ANY CLEANING MATERIALS, E.G. BLEACH? COULD NOT FIND ANY.
3. ARE YOU COLLECTING CHINESE FOOD CARTONS FOR ANY REASON? DID NOT THROW THEM AWAY, JUST IN CASE.
YOUR CLEANER JOANNE
~ Sophie Kinsella, The Undomestic Goddess
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