Okay, not literary but I was in the mood for some humor today so here's some quotes from the comedian Steven Wright:
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."
Read more:http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/s/steven_wright_5.html#ixzz1LOD7u2oM
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