Shorts from Not So Funny When It Happened edited by Tim Cahill:
"There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes his whole universe for a vast practical joke." ~ Herman Melville
"I was doing my usual shuffle, trying to convey something in French to a horrified merchant, when my daughter Anna, then eight years old, took me aside and advised, 'Daddy, you need a lot of spit in your mouth to speak French.' Alas, my drooling has only caused more problems." ~ James O'Reilly
"Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses." ~ Margaret Millar
"It wasn't until we were in college that we realized anthropology is just travel writing about places with no room service." ~ P.J. O'Rourke
"If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine." ~ Jack Handey
"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there." ~ George Burns
"As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way." ~ Jack Handey
"I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas." ~ Jack Handey
"I sat in the Delhi airport and watched the big electric clock in the departure hall that tells passengers when to board. I thought I imagined that time was moving in fits and starts: 1:12 A.M. for fifteen minutes, then 1:27 for another twenty, 1:47...Closer inspection revealed that the clock was not plugged in, and its digits were being flipped manually by a little man in gray overalls whenever the mood took him." ~ Jonah Blank
"Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff." ~ Jack Handey
Thank you for visiting my author page!
Here you will find information about everything I have in publication and what I'm working on now. My genres include Young Adult Paranormal Fiction, Adult Paranormal Fiction and Romance.
Because I can't resist, I will also try to frequently blog a favorite quote from one of the many, many books I've read. Some days they'll be funny, others, hopefully, thought provoking.
Below are links to the first chapters of each of my books in publication.